No sooner had we waved off Her Majesty with an invitation to please come back ringing in her ears, than we have a packed weekend to look forward to. No I am not talking about the visit of Barack Obama to Ireland - but close! The world is going to end on Saturday, and the American Centre for Disease Control and Prevention have decided to give us tips on what to do in the case of zombie attack. I love whacky weekends!
It seems an American pastor has predicted that the world is going to end on Saturday at 6pm. This prediction is the fruit of Harold Camping's fevered research into the Book of Revelation. Now I know Jesus said we will not know the day or the hour, and that he will come when we do not expect, that that hour will overtake us like a thief, but it seems Mr Camping has one up on Jesus and we all for it tomorrow. So now people, time to get the rosaries out, light the blessed candles - seems the three days of darkness won't be happening, but just in case. Proclaim a fast, lock the doors and assume a humble aspect for the Lord he doth cometh on Saturday at 6pm - just in time for his tea.
Now, just one question for Fr Z (peace be upon him) - as a priest, seeing as the end of the world is coming at teatime Saturday, am I bound to First Vespers for Sunday???? Is it too early for the Sunday, or just in time???
As Fr Z is munching over that, the rest of us can be swotting up on what to do when the zombies come knocking on the door - which it seems, according to the Centre for Disease Control and Prevention, is a distinct possibility. Now, to be honest, I am a little disturbed, because it fails to advise on combat techniques should we get caught. According to the news reader in the cult movie Shaun of the Dead we aim for the head, but what do we do in the real world? So now we'll have to ask Fr Z again (PBUH): "Father, do we aim for the head of the zombie when being attacked, and where do we stand morally?" The Church of the Third Millennium does indeed face some new challenges and moral dilemmas.