The Purity of Friendship

I was out having lunch with some friends today, Michael and Anne, and as we munched our way through a delicious apple crumble, the conversation turned to this new blog.  Always a fantastic support, they are great for the advice.  Anne commented on the name of my new blog, and, in her enthusiasm, had logged on to do a Google search to find out if anyone else was using the title Ex Umbris Et Imaginibus.  To her surprise who popped up only Mr Peter Tatchell, Britain's leading campaigner for gay rights.  Bemused, after lunch we went in search of the gentleman's website and found, not to our surprise, an essay in which he maintained that Blessed John Henry Newman was gay and in love with the priest in whose grave he was buried, Fr Ambrose St John.

This particular opinion has been doing the rounds for the last few years, and even though Mr Tatchell says Newman's letters support the hypothesis, in reality there is no evidence of any homosexual activities or inclinations in Blessed John Henry's life, never mind a full blown relationship with a brother Oratorian.  I do not need to roll out the evidence, but suffice to say that the two men were friends: indeed their relationship was like that of two brothers.  The fact that the two were buried in the same grave is not unusual and is common practice in the burial plots of religious orders.   Go looking for Gerard Manley Hopkins's grave in Glasnevin Cemetery and you will find numerous priests and brothers buried together, side by side, one on top of another - it saves space (please take note, dear environmentalists!).  Tatchell will point out, correctly, that Newman wanted to be buried with Fr Ambrose, but that does not imply that they were "spouses", but rather reveals he wanted to be laid to rest beside his best friend - no scandal there: it's called fraternity.

Tatchell's opinion, and those who share it, is particularly offensive because they seem to be implying that if two people of the same sex have a close relationship, then there must be a sexual element, that they are gay and they are "involved".  Not so.  As basic human experience shows, it is possible for two people of the same sex to have very deep, close and pure relationships not based on sexual attraction, but in common interests, or just the joy of being with the other person.  History is full of such relationships, as is the history of the Church.  Indeed the Church recognises the benefits of such friendships, and sees that they can sanctify the friends.  One of the tragedies of recent times is that these relationships are now being recast to support a particular agenda.  In fact some of our Saints are being dragged into the fray - the martyrs SS Perpetua and Felicity, and SS Serge and Bacchus - all friends who died for their faith are now presented as icons of the gay lifestyle with no evidence to back it up.  Even the great theologian of friendship, St Aelred, does not escape suspicion.  It is time for us Christians to reclaim these Saints, and to reclaim the whole idea of friendship.  I suggest we start with reading C S Lewis's masterpiece, The Four Loves. 

Now, back to the apple crumble.  I see Michael is cranking up the espresso machine: a nice cup of the black nectar will revive us all quite nicely!

Apple Crumble and Coffee